And they told me I invented Times New Roman.

Noise. I awaken from the deepest slumber to a collective jumble of noise. Inaudible at first, but becoming more and more distinguishable with every second that passed. Ronco Rotisserie Ovens. The chicken looks delightful. I awkwardly slide out of Jake's Lazy Boy and hobble over to the office chair. As I masterfully peel layer after layer of upper body ware from me, I take a minute to gather my bearings. 1:30am. I've been out for what seemed was a couple of decades, but in reality was around three hours. The off-white hue of the monitor's glow makes my skin look more pale than Voldemort's. Fuck, I'm the whitest Mexican ever. Change the channel, this infomercial is making me hungry and apparently it's bad to eat after 7pm. Flip flip flip. Nothing good is on. Flip flip flip. If channel-surfing were an actual sport, I'd be the Kobe Bryant of it. Flip flip fli-...ohh, MTV! Any chance I could catch some music? No, it's some documentary about being bi-sexual. I remember tuning into MTV as a kid/young teen and seeing a plethora of music videos. What the fuck happened to MUSIC television? Oh well. I'm trying to think of a way to regurgitate what's in my mind onto this blog, but these social cliche's are distracting me. Quit smiling at me, damn it. Can I find the courage to spill what's in my head? You’re only brave until you're scared, and you’re only unique until compared. How did I get to this point? I feel as though the things I love are slipping away from me. Truth be told: I miss home. I've been away from it for such a long time, but a big part of me feels homesick. I long to go back home and see my family. My friends. Those familiar faces of days already passed. Oh, you know what days I'm talking about. The days where you felt invincible. The days where you made no plans, yet ended up having the most amazing day of your life. The days where you were truly and utterly happy. I miss those days, and the people whom I shared them with. I feel like my best friend is forgetting me. No, not Jake. I'm obviously writing this from his computer, in his apartment which happens to be hotter than the sun at the moment. I'm talking about my other best friend. I feel like in the monotony that her life has become, and in an effort to liven it up a bit, she will forget me. It scares the shit out of me. I'm not a selfish person, in the least. I obviously want her to go out and experience life. Meet new people. I want her to be happy. I'm just terrified that in doing so I will become obsolete, and as such, replaced. I also feel as if my life is becoming some droll routine. I can't stand the prospect of this. Life is supposed to be exciting and awesome, not some fucking routine that bores you. My life has become work. Work and sleep and food. Throw school in there in about a month and a half and it'll be more or less the same. School, Work, Sleep, and Eats. 1:57am. I've been spewing my thoughts onto my blog for almost thirty minutes now. I find myself having a very difficult time finding the words to fully express what's in my dome. Maybe I should change the channel and find a little inspiration....Flip flip flip. No Food Network please, I could decimate an entire cow at this point. Flip flip flip. "Too Fat for 15". Irony. Flip flip flip. Zombieland. Instant inspiration. Emma. Fucking. Stone. By far one of the hottest celebrities...ever. I can't help but feel kind of lonely. I want an Emma Stone to save from cannibalistic dead people! "You'll never find anyone who loves you as much I as I do, remember that." Oh, I do Tracy. I do. Seared into my fucking brain like a cattle-prod to a steer's ass. Maybe she's right. Maybe she's wrong. I do miss her, as weird as that sounds. I wonder how she is from time to time. I really wish things would have ended on a more positive note, but that's what I get. I'm the one that ended things. So I do wonder if I'll meet someone who doesn't think I'm a complete jackass. Someone who can see me for me, and still toy with the idea of being with me. hahaha. Maybe I'm too straightforward? Too blunt? Do I go for the throat? They say the more you squeeze the more it slips away. I want to watch Garden State. That movie always puts things into perspective for me, as far as "falling in love" goes. Natalie Portman is gorgeous. Although I feel a huge weight lifted off of my proverbial shoulders by venting, there's still a huge chunk of things that I can't even begin to put into a cohesive thought. I'll sign off on that note. You stay classy, San Diego.