I figured I'd update my blog, seeing as it's been a little more than a month. I'll set off the month of February with a tribute. A tribute, you ask? A tribute to what? It's not a question of what, but of to who. This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are while disproving the very point. This particular blog post is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to cry on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs. Those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how gorgeous/smart/sexy/funny their female friend is at the appropriate moment because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is for the guys with open minds, laid-back attitudes, honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door. For the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population. For the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, because they deserve them. Yup, this is for the guys who play by the rules in a game where cheating gets you further. This is for the millions of dudes out there who are accredited as "boyfriend material", but somehow don't end up being boyfriends. They end up being overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, on top of manipulated, misled and unjustly abandoned. This post is for you.
This is for that time she left you 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a fucking prick, you assured her that it would all be ok and she shouldn't worry about it. You know, nowadays, the nice guy is a dying breed. Chivalry is all but gone. And it's because being an asshole gets you further than being genuinely nice. The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I've observed on college campuses and from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion that I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim the just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "Oh, he's too nice to date" or "He would be a good boyfriend, but he's just not for me" or my personal favorite "No, it would ruin our friendship". Yet, they continue to mourn and lament the lack of datable men in the world and expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the man that are jerks. You know what that's like? That is roughly the equivalent of the guy going to a job interview and the company saying, "You have a great resume. You have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But sadly, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired". Girls like this are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they SAY (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to fuck this complete and total asshole!). But one thing I can do is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely girls out there who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating good dudes, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls. Even trickier, is finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys that may be reading this. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself describes as ubiquitously nice. The truth of the matter is, the world NEEDS your patience in the department store, your holding the door open like a gentleman, your party escorting services, and your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate. For the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgment, and my gratitude goes out to you. You DO have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming. I'm patiently waiting along with you.
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